Halloween Costumes for The Procrastinators, The Couples, and/or The Underly-Ambitious Yet Self-Satisfied DIYers

You have no time to read. I’ll keep it simple.


A Lunar Eclipse: For Couples (or if you’re going solo, get creative)

The sun. If you have a dog, include dog. Make some sort of sun out of whatever you have on hand. Panty hose make for a nice impromptu stretchy material to attach the sun around your dog’s waist. Or you could tie the sun to a harness.

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If you don’t have a dog, tie the sun around a wrist and hold your arm out for photos. (The sun would go with the person wearing the shadow costume [see below], not the moon. And make sure your shadow costume wearer places the sun in front of the earth.)

Now the earth’s shadow. Wear all black, buy an inflatable earth or use whatever you can think of. I made this hat with wire which I bent into a halo shape, then placed over a black mask.IMG_2625.JPG

If you can’t find an inflatable globe, you could print out an image of the earth, affix the image to cardboard, and tie it to your wrist to hold in front of you.

Now the moon. I found an image on the internet, printed it out, covered it in clear mailing tape and stapled it to a black shirt. (Tip: Staple from the inside or risk getting stabbed a little throughout the evening.) Add black pants, black shoes, etc. Voila. You’re a moon about to be eclipsed. The smaller person in the couple should be the moon and should stand behind the shadow, barely peeking out. This is an eclipse after all.

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Last Minute Costume Ideas

Matching Couple

Retired (Hawaiian shirt, golf club, AARP card, etc.)

If you have a portable musical instrument, be a musician.

If you partake in any hobby that requires a costume, be that. (For instance, I’m wearing my flamenco skirt and castanets for tonight’s party.)

If you have formal wear, pretend you’re at prom. Add pimples and dorky glasses. Or go with a retro look.


More Costumes

Couples or solo, look here for details on these homemade creations:

A jumping cholla, a saguaro.

Fifty Shades of Grey, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The Wind, a Tumbleweed (Yeah, people will say “blow me.”)

A Black Hole, A Shooting Star


The Ultimate Procrastinator’s Last Minute Costumes:

An undercover cop. Click here for details.

A Sale of Two Titties. (Print out: $$$FORSALE$$$ and affix to your chest.)

A Tale of Two Cities (Print out: London + Paris, for instance) and affix these to your butt…again, remember, staple from the inside. Or if you’re going to a really fun party, you know what to do. Don’t recommend Sharpie markers for that.

Last year’s last minute costume.


What’re you gonna be for Halloween?

LAST MINUTE Halloween Costume

Okay you have a few hours to go before that costume party begins, but no costume. Here’s what you can do, and all you need is your computer and a printer.

Undercover cop costume:

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Just Google “Undercover Cop ID card”. (Here you’ll see “Police Dept. LA” and “FBI” but meh. Who cares. Just say you’re actually a not-very-clever spy posing as an undercover cop.) Take the photos ripped from the internet, fit to size, print, then cut out and glue onto a piece of black construction paper.

The best part about this costume is you don’t even have to change clothes!

Have a friend or partner who’s in the same position this Halloween? Run to the nearest store and pick up a pair of handcuffs and red paint or dye. (Or just take those handcuffs out of the box of sex toys you’ve got hiding under your bed…but make sure they’re not the fuzzy ones.) Paint one hand, wear the handcuffs, and go as a set. You, the undercover cop, he or she: Caught red handed.

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And you’re done.

And now for the finale. Pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese icing. A cheater’s recipe that uses a cake mix and a can of pumpkin puree. These took no time to make and they are surprisingly delicious (and not disgustingly sweet)!

So to those of you who read my post on freedom, below is an example of positive freedom failure. But I only ate half of one. The rest are going to the party, I swear.

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